So, every day I put the baby on the changing mat, switch on the voice recorder on my phone, and start telling a story off the top of my head….
Once up on a time there was a small dog.
The dog lived on a tee-shirt – well, he lived on lots of tee-shirts actually – he moved around between the tee-shirts that all the different babies wore.
And one day he found himself on the tee-shirt of a little girl called Ada Rose. And he landed on her tee-shirt, he had a little orange spot in his fur, and a blue collar and big brown floppy ears, and he sat down right in the middle of Ada’s chest. And on the day he was there Ada ate some cucumber, had a big sleep, and went shopping.
The dog sat there quietly while she did all that, and while she payed with her Dad, and then when no one was looking the dog turned to Ada and said
“woof woof woof”
Which Ada didn’t really understand, because she was a human baby with not much comprehension of language, but what the dog meant was “I like being on your tee-shirt – it’s fun being on your tee-shirt.”
And then the dog said, in dog-language “I wish you wore a bib when you ate your cucumber – I got covered in cucumber! The next baby’s tee-shirt I’m on, I hope they wear a bib, and I hope they’re as fun as you are.”
Later that day the dog magically disappeared from the tee-shirt, and Ada was left with just a small brown stain on her chest