A list of things you can and can’t do while wearing a baby in a sling

I like to be of service to others, and in that spirit, here is a list of things you can and can’t do with a baby in a sling, based on my own experiments:

Eat – can
Clean teeth – can
Use a urinal – can
Shave – can’t
Replace suspension forks on mountain bike – can
Mow lawn – can
Strim lawn – can’t
Wash up – can
Repair broken toilet – can’t
Chin ups – can
Press ups – can’t
Kick-ups – can’t
Run for bus – can
Chop vegetables – can but shouldn’t
Cut toe nails – can’t
Scratch stomach – can’t
Scratch balls – can but looks bad
Hoover – can
Feed baby – can
Have sex – can’t (actually, it depends on your style I guess. And your partner. And your morality)
Drink a beer – can
Drink a brew – can, but please don’t
Drive – can’t
Ride a bike – can
Get a hair cut – can’t
Sleep – can
Wear snug winter coat – can’t
Ignore baby – can’t
Ignore rest of world – can
Execute perfect sliding tackle – can’t
Fall over – can
Find contact lenses – can’t
Eat a footlong subway – can’t
Stroke a horse – don’t
Play guitar – can
Open a door towards you – tricky
Sneak up on people – can’t
Sneeze – can (beware, risk of head-butt)
Paint – can
Shake hands – can
Fist bump – can
Chest-bump – can’t

This list was inspired by fellow blogger @SAHDadandproud, who posted a thoughtful view of why he blogs, which got me thinking about why I publish gibberish on the internet.  I figure it is to help people, because every now and again it is good to give something back.

You’re welcome, internet.

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