An -age-inappropriate children’s story – Little Miss Crackwhore

So, every day I put the baby on the changing mat, switch on the voice recorder on my phone, and start telling a story off the top of my head… this one didn’t record properly, sadly…

One day Mr Happy was walking through Happy Land sucking his happy lolly, when from nowhere, Mrs Frightening jumped out wearing her frightening shoes.

Mr Happy shrieked  aloud when he saw the pointy shoes and dropped his happy lolly on the floor.

Mrs frightening laughed as Mr Happy ran off to the safety of his Happy Holiday Home at the edge of the Jolly Woods.  Mrs Frightening picked up  the happy lolly and lifted it to her mouth.  It was very nice, so nice in  fact that she decided to go to Mr Happy’s house and apologise for frightening  him.

But Mr happy was almost too frightened to open the door.

That made  Mrs Frightening sad, and when she got sad she looked even more frightening.   Mr happy was all of a quiver, shaking and shrieking with fear.

Mrs  Frightening didn’t know what to do; she didn’t like seeing Mr Happy so  frightened, so she reached out and tried to hug him.

As soon as she  touched him there was a jealous cry from the other room, and with that, Little  Miss Crack Whore ran out and beat Mrs Frightening to death, and gave Mr Happy some crack and a  blowjob, which of course, made him happy again.

The end.


Lantern – a little song

One of the things on the ambitious version of my to do list is to write an album.  I made a start today, and proved it’s possible to record a song with a live baby scatting in the background.