What if the royal baby is a hermaphrodite? What then?

I’m sure like me, every parent has a lot of questions about the Royal Spawn.  So I’m making a list, below, to send off to the Palace.  Please add yours in the comments :o)

  • At what age does a royal baby get a body guard? 
  • Does someone have to taste all its food before it eats (drinks) it? 
  • Who’s gonna buy it a Sophie the Giraffe?
  • If The Queen and Charles both die somehow, then William dies, and the paternity test rules Harry out (which it surely will), all in the next nine months, what’s the deal?  Is that baby the Monarch from Birth?  From 24 weeks?  Will the Royal Foetus be required to open Parliament?
  • Does Buckingham Palace employ a wet nurse yet?
  • Where can you get stair gates for a double staircase?
  • What if the royal baby is a hermaphrodite? What then?
  • Where will their nearest NCT group be?
  • Will a Health Visitor insist on a home visit?
  • Will Kate breastfeed in public?
  • Is the Royal carriage compatible with an Isofix base?
  • Will Wills take 6 months off so Kate can go back to work early?  (Ha!)
  • When they sing Humpty Dumpty, will Wills change to words to “all of MY horses and all of MY men”?

Any more questions anyone?  Add them in the comments – I’ll post them off in a week…